Welcome to our blog series, “The Family Plan: Together Through Transition.”
Throughout this series, we’ll share tools and strategies designed to bring peace, clarity and a sense of purpose during one of life’s most tender and significant seasons. Joining us on this journey is Senior Wealth Advisor and former pastor, Phil Nybroten, who brings both practical insight and compassionate guidance as we explore how to thoughtfully prepare for what lies ahead.
The Family Meeting: You are Not Alone by Phil Nybroten, Senior Wealth Advisor
This past year and a half have been an emotionally challenging time for my family. Within a span of 15 months, my brothers and I lost both of our parents. Our mother, LaMay, lost her battle with Alzheimer’s in April of 2024 and in late June of this year, our father, Ronald, died after his lengthy battle with cancer. Even in our family, where three of the five members were/are ordained clergy, the struggles of dealing with mortality have struck us to the core. We have cried and we are grieving. But as my brothers and I look back over these recent years, we are also thankful that we were able to “walk with” our parents through these difficult times. Years ago, our parents gathered us for a family meeting to discuss their hopes and plans for their end-of-life days. Those conversations along with our deep faith were instrumental in guiding us through the most complex decisions about our parent’s care.
Over the years, I’ve had the great privilege of walking alongside families through the peaks and valleys of life. As a pastor, this meant celebrating the birth of children, rejoicing with couples at the altar of marriage, offering counsel during seasons of change, and grieving with spouses, parents, and children in times of loss. Today, as a financial advisor, this same calling to “walk with” others continues—this time through helping individuals and families create personalized plans that prepare them for life’s uncertainties. “Walking with” clients, much like I “walked with” my parents, has been my greatest privilege as an advisor. If there’s one truth these experiences have taught me, it’s having a thoughtful plan for the road ahead is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and the people you love. Thank you, mom, and dad!
Looking back, one of the most valuable gifts our parents gave us was the clarity and peace that came from those family meetings. That experience showed be firsthand how important it is to have these conversations, not only for legal or financial reasons but for the relationships and understanding they foster.
Nowhere is this need for a plan more crucial than when it comes to estate and later-life planning. One of the most overlooked yet powerful tools in ensuring a smooth transition for loved ones is the family meeting.
Conversations about family estates and later-life planning can feel heavy or difficult, but they are a key step toward building understanding and harmony for the future. Often families find it hard to begin these discussions because they touch on personal matters such as aging, finances, and legacy. I must admit that even with my own parents and brothers, these estate and life planning discussions were extremely sensitive—and we had three ordained pastors in our family of five! It’s natural for emotions or differing expectations to arise, yet approaching the topic with openness and care can strengthen relationships rather than strain them. People hesitate to have these conversations out of a desire to avoid conflict or because talking about money and dying feels uncomfortable (naturally), while others simply don’t know where to start.
Why Family Meetings Matter
Talking about your estate or end-of-life plans can feel awkward, but having a family meeting is one of the best gifts you can give your loved ones. It helps prevent confusion, reduces stress, and keeps your family on the same page.
- Avoid Conflicts Before They Start
Most family disagreements don’t come from the documents themselves—they come from misunderstandings. A family meeting lets you explain your choices and the reasons behind them, so everyone knows what to expect and why. - Build Trust Through Open Talk
It can be uncomfortable to discuss things like inheritance, healthcare decisions, or the family home. But when you’re open, it shows your family that you’ve thought things through carefully and made fair choices. That kind of honesty builds trust and peace of mind. - Make Roles Clear
Executors, trustees, and healthcare decision-makers have important responsibilities. A family meeting makes sure everyone understands their role and agrees to it before anything urgent happens. - Ease the Emotional Load
End-of-life planning is never easy, but knowing your loved one’s wishes ahead of time can take a huge weight off everyone’s shoulders. These conversations turn uncertainty into guidance and comfort.
Tips for Getting Started
You don’t need a big, formal meeting. Even a chat over dinner or during a family visit can be a great start. Let your loved ones know your goal is to make things clear and easier for everyone. And if it feels tricky, your financial advisor or estate planning attorney can help guide the conversation.
Final Thought
A family meeting may feel daunting, but it’s one of the greatest gifts you can offer your loved ones. It turns your estate plan from a set of legal documents into a living expression of care, clarity, and responsibility by giving everyone a chance to understand your wishes, ask questions, and prevent confusion or conflict later. Through open conversations, a private legal practice becomes a shared act of care that not only preserves your legacy but also strengthens the very relationships that define it.
If you do not know where to start, you are not alone. This series of blogs is meant to be for you. My hope is that you will find there are trusted advisors and resources available to assist you along the way.
Our next blog in The Family Plan: Together Through Transition series offers a practical checklist to help families get organized before a major life change occurs. From ensuring online access and account information are in order to reviewing beneficiaries and planning for future living arrangements, it’s all about making life’s transitions smoother for everyone involved.